I didn’t send you to Simon’s Rock to escape living with you. Then she said “Katie is so mean to you, you’ll be dead from her meanness.” If you live with her for two more years, you’ll be dead.” I had no awareness of why she said I’d be dead and I said so. She dropped a Simon’s Rock brochure on our dining room table and said “I think you should send Katie here. I learned about Simon’s Rock from my sister, who had learned about it in her MS in Education program. You came home that morning and fiercely said “When GirlWithParty” goes away for college, she’s never going too speak to her mothera again.” I sorta kinda thought you were making a not- very-veiled threat to leave me when you left for college after private schools all your life and, one presumes, as you would continue to take money from me for your college. I remember that once, maybe in 7th grade, one of your Waldort classmates had all the girls from the class for a pajama party. There were plenty of adults around our lives, many good parents and teachers who were aware of both my parenting and my relationship with you. I was never physically abusive but I admit it, as I just thought “I never beat her” I remember that I did slap you on a shoulder ONCE.

The half life of love is forever